I Dare Feel… So I Dare Write…
I miss the feel of your presence,
setting of the sun and
the glory of then.
We were there forever
In the evening of life,
Bathing in joy,
Feeling the delight.
What a wonder,
What a celebration
It would have been!
Alas!
You decided to travel far, very far
Beyond my reality,
But into my dreams!
Every time I stood
in front of mirror
I saw you.
Every time someone asked
me, my name
I told yours
Every time I closed
my eyes
You were there
Every breath of my life
is indebted to none
But you.
Every step I take,
guided I am
By you.
You have me all
but I do not
Have you.
In the meandering road of life
I trod upon the vehicle with some faith,
That some day I’ll reach the destination
or at least a halt in front of your gate.
I was longing for life when a drop trickled from nowhere.
The silence murmured as the voice came near.
Is He wanting to say and show something?
Yes, a path to trod upon and a light beaming.
I always lived in dreams and false conviction
With no coherence in my action
Every time He came for my rescue
Gave me chance, where chances were few.
Every time I cried foul at myself
Showed disrespect to Him and Self.
Oh God! you always forgive, so do once
Teach me your language of Silence!
On an usual summer evening,
Two Words met at a crossroad.
They thought, they knew each other,
But did not know the other’s abode.
Were they surprised at this encounter
Or was just another meeting, who knows!
They stood there stiff not knowing what to say,
Stealing a look now and then as the night arose.
Who knew the paradoxes of life will met
On an inglorious summer evening.
But then, is it not life filled with such
Unceremonious dates till end, from beginning?
The flow of thoughts is incomplete here (may be sometime later I may take it to “logical conclusion”)… but then it is complete too. Is it not the paradox of life (or may be thought) evident here? (one says complete, the other says incomplete :-))
I got up this morning
to a very beautiful day;
shining with hope
through clouds of dismay.
I wondered what could be
the reason for the change.
Though it was soothing,
yet looked so strange!
I could not believe: was awake
or in some eternal dream;
Flowing from tomorrow
to today, like a cascading stream.
Rain, the previous night, has
washed away all dirt.
Wet drenched me but cleansed me too.
Nature’s silent but romantic flirt!
Oh! is this the glow of
a new born or am I reborn?
Now I know every time it rains,
removed are some skin torn.
Here I was crying childishly on
distress and agony, never existed.
Losing childlike wit, forgetting
how much I was trusted.
Someone has said long back,
we learn from our mistake.
Life is not about going back, rather
moving ahead with every retake!
Journey through the road of life,
Is a walk on the edge of knife.
Focused and engaged we may cross,
Lose them and it may cut across.
Faith and confidence are must,
Shun them; life-bubbles are burst.
Walk is not rough,
Our manifestations make it tough.
The thought may go on and on…
Some time back I was thinking about problems we face in life. What are these problems? This question took me to my school days. I could very easily co-relate. Initially I was taught the alphabets, the numbers…then came the words, simple arithmetic problems… followed by sentences, tougher problems… and the complexity increased. Isn’t life same too?
One thing that I have understood about Nature (or God or whatever we may call) is that EVOLUTION and nothing but EVOLUTION is its (avoiding gender controversy :P) ONE and ONLY agenda. Whenever Nature feels that we need to move ahead, learn new lessons it blesses us with “the problems”, we hate the most. We are left with no option but to face. Worst… there is no escaping. Till we master what Nature wants us to master, the problem will recur again and again in different forms.
No one remains the same before and after the arrival of pain (or problems). The title of a very popular self help book says it all “Tough Times Never Last But Tough People Do”.
Nature wants us to accept life in totality; learn to except the good, and the bad too, with ease. This is possible, I believe, with Faith in the Almighty and Confidence in the Self.
And then, is it not life all about choices we make? We can choose to be happy in the grimmest of situation and other way round. This I have seen in my life very clearly. I graduated with engineering degree… got placed in a MNC (a dream job for many of my friends)… drawing a handsome salary (among the highest in my batch)… and here I was miserable: always tensed, my blood pressure going high, could not sleep… always restless. Today, I have no job… no income… have registered for Masters (after facing intense competition)… the future is uncertain… BUT I AM HAPPY. I sleep well… get up with “an expectation from the self and hope from the world”… thank God for this life (an opportunity worth cherishing for)
My Spiritual Mentor gave a very beautiful suggestion. He said that Never try to quit anything bad (or bads) in you. It is stressful and frustrating process. But the BEST thing is to add as many good as you can and a time will come when the bad (or bads) will automatically leave. A good analogy could be adding new items in our small room: to make space for them we need to throw out the not-so-necessary ones. 🙂
At the end… as always so now… these “speech” is my HearT’s SpeaK, mind just gave them words!!! 🙂
Some random thoughts rhymed sometime in June, 2008.
A life yet to lead
A journey yet to start
A mouth yet to feed
A plan yet to chart
A compliment yet to receive
A glory yet to shine
A world yet to perceive
A dinner yet to dine
A charity yet to begin
A destination yet to reach
A song yet to sing
A gospel yet to preach
A dream yet to live
A conclusion yet to arrive
A gift yet to give
A sentiment yet to drive
A love yet to find
A priority yet to number
A business yet to mind
And
A walk yet to remember.
This “poem”, if I can say so, I wrote sometime in Sept, 2008. While surfing through my older posts in my other blog (Let My Heart Speak) I came across it. I am reposting it here with some minor editing.
A river, meandered through
Caverns of rough weather.
Lived a life long enough and,
Moved and moved before wither,
Into the wonder that stood for all
With open arms and shelters:
The deep blue waters.
The turbulence and chaos,
The restlessness that grows
Mounts and mounts
when the river flows.
The calmness and peace,
The movement, that ease
comes and comes with
she, sea and the breeze.
All pains are gone,
Gone are the belongings.
All pleasures are gone,
Gone are the longings.
What remains is the music
and the song of the wood,
Once she traveled by
in her early childhood.
Life is a search of its kind
Unknown paths, goals undefined.
A blank blackboard, few chalks
and a duster to write and erase,
Every time a new story with
Unknown ends, words and phrase.
Some stare at it lost,
Some scribble few words at most,
Some take chance and write anew,
Story of sort attempt a few.
Where do I stand,
I am yet to find!
I may not be one but all,
In search of a call
Which emanates
from deep within,
Till then some
effort I do put in.
The ephemerality of life shines
as he dines
through galores of food,
but alone in wood.
He has to accept
the burning fact
for which he is born,
laid on the path of thorn.
Can’t just see the one,
and rest none.
Have to act now or it’s never,
before the rising fever
Stands as monster, tall
before the fall
into the dark slumber…
Count the death number!
Where the road
divides into four.
Where I stand in
indecision up to core.
Where the lure is
for one and all four.
Where emotions rise
and flow in imagination.
Where, also fear of
tomorrow clouds decision.
Where choosing only one
builds up the frustration.
Where I stand at this
juncture of my life.
Where I feel, am walking
on edge of a knife.
Where I want to take
chance but fear to dive!
A day like another.
The unusualness not so unique.
Nothing to mark out new.
Strength dead in sinew.
Life seemed to be dragging
The future looked bleak.
The goals were not defined,
Nor were steps aligned.
Time would be running short
But no one to kick
So was the motion slow.
Lacked the luster and glow.
Moved out of the office
Or was I a freak
To be so late.
An important date!
The bike stopped at signal
Heard screech of brakes
What I remember now is:
The cold-dead death’s kiss.
Was I ignored by Him
Or an encounter as fake
Whatever it may be,
I lived to see.
This day and many
More shall I make
Before the curtain is drawn.
Till then, the game is on.
The day I was reborn!
HearT SpeaK 